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The Adventures of Claude Stackhouse Herveaux Episode 4
Narrator: Sookie, Alcide, and Hyacinth all walk to the woods.
Alcide: I will trace down Claude’s scent to find him.
Sookie: Okay. Hopefully he talks to us. I really need to know if he is our son. Be careful out there.
Alcide: You too my fairy princess. (He then shifts to wolf form and traces Claude’s scent.)
Sookie: (To Hyacinth) How are you? How is it like to live in this time period? Weird?
Hyacinth: Yeah it is Mrs. Herveaux.
Sookie: Why are you calling me Mrs. Herveaux? I’m not married to Alcide at all. He has a wife named Debbie. You you know for a fact that Debbie will be prevented from having kids with Alcide. Don’t you?
Hyacinth: If only I stopped thinking, you would never be able to get into my head.
Sookie: Try me!
Hyacinth: (Holding her head now that the pain is starting.) Ouch! Get the fuck out of my head!
Sookie: I have the ability to dig things out of people’s heads. I can sense that my son did the same thing to you but did not go deep enough because he knows you will get a headache. Sorry Hyacinth for doing that.
Hyacinth: It’s okay. I was being uncooperative to begin with. I don’t feel ashamed that you found out what I am because I am a bigger freak than you. I am a time traveling alien.
Sookie: (Starting to cry) I feel weird saying this but I don’t mind if you married my future son. You had a hard time with your life but I want to be there for you.
Hyacinth: Okay.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Claude surrendered to Alcide and both of them start going into Sookie’s house. Sookie runs to Claude and hugs him.
Sookie: Now I know you are my future son. (To Alcide) I feel very overjoyed.
Alcide: I feel strange that we met our future son today. (To Claude) Why did we name you Claude?
Claude: In the future during my childhood, both of you told me of a good fairy. (To Sookie) Mom you told me that Claude the brother of your fairy godmother Claudine helped you and my great grandad escape from Fairyland. If it wasn’t for him, you would not have came out of Fairyland alive. You named me after him because he supported the cause for fairies to have a right to live on Earth. If it wasn’t for him, you would have been stuck and harvested forever.
Sookie: That is weird. It is true but how did your dad and I get married?
Claude: Both of you loved each other more than the love you had for your ex’s.
Alcide: What caused Debbie and I to split?
Claude: You mean Aunt Debbie?
Alcide: Yeah whatever you call her in your time period.
Claude: She fell in love with the Shreveport Pack Master and got married. She is only a family friend. That Pack Master resigned and you were the Pack Master in my life. I always felt proud to be both a fairy and werewolf.
Sookie: I am proud that you accept yourself.
Alcide: I am as well.
Narrator: All of a sudden, four hundred large wolves come out of thin air and morph into tall athletic bearded men. They all appear to be holding sonic screw drivers with their mouths.
Claude: Who are you guys?
The Four Hundred Men: We are your future sons. We came here to meet you, grandma, and grandad!
Alcide: Is this some kind of joke? I’m a grandfather now? Wow this is weird because I just found out that I was a father, a few minutes ago.
Sookie: No it isn’t because I can hear all of their thoughts.
Narrator: Sookie and Claude both cover their heads because all of the memories of the four hundred men are revealed to them. Sookie and Claude then place their hands on Alcide’s head and he sees everything.
Alcide: Our world just got weirder!
